I miss her, but time is mending what it can. I just moved back into the house with my grandmother again on January 31st, and I actually live in Ma's old room now (Ma was my great-grandmother). I've made it my own, so I don't feel as weird about it as I thought I would. I have some flowers on my desk next to a picture and a birthday card she gave me a few years back, and try to take care of the flowers the way she'd want me to. I've never had any, so I usually tell her that I have no idea what I'm doing. "Am I giving it too much water? I don't know why the petals are drying out - what am I doing wrong, Ma?"
I told her that I was going to create something today, because I knew that would make me actually do it. As soon as I started, I swear I could feel her eagerly watching me like she used to in her old chair, asking me what I was doing now. How about now? "What's that going to be?" I feel so silly for typing this. I knew she'd be so happy to see me sewing again that I almost felt it like I was watching myself through her eyes and feeling her happiness. I'm not gonna lie, it made me cry.
Sooooooooo adorable! *squeee!*
I hope you're all staying warm and safe. I know at least in CT, the snow is so high that it's impossible to see where traffic is coming from at many corners. I cannot wait until the day I see greenery again... It feels like it'll never come. Maybe I should get more flowers for my room, haha. "Maaaaaa...!"