It's almost that time again...

Soon, we'll be reaching for our favorite sweaters and smelling that beautiful familiar scent in the air as the leaves crunch beneath our shoes... I simply cannot wait. <3

Yes, I do still exist, and I do apologize for being absent pretty much since last fall/winter. I wonder if I'm just a seasonal blogger/crafter, heh. I did finally finish (I think) the turkey that Ma kept asking me about last year, albeit very late (or early?). Anyways, meet Gobbler, the fluffiest turkey you've ever known.

I'm still debating on whether or not to give him eyes. I'm afraid if I do, it'll make him goofy looking. I kind of like the vibe without eyes, but I haven't decided yet.

Just to give an update in case anyone was following me and read about the job I was excited about last winter... I left the job in the beginning of June because I simply couldn't deal with commission pay. At this point in my life, that career choice simply was not realistic. So I have been looking for something else since then. Several rejection letters and a whole lot of discouragement later, I'm still hoping. I was trying for the big insurance companies in Hartford, since it's the insurance capital of the world, but at this point, I just need SOMETHING. I'm slipping into credit card debt just paying my regular bills, and feel terrible for relying on my grandmother again. I'm even selling a bunch of my old clothes on ebay just to get a few bucks to put towards my card. But hey, as my grandmother says, "This too shall pass." She's very good to me. I wish it didn't take me until my adult years to finally appreciate her the way I do. Silly teenage angst.

Anywho, I hope you're all doing well. I see I lost a few of you in my hiatus, including Gina (sadface), but hopefully I will get myself to do a bit of crafting and blogging more often soon. I do check in from time to time, and I was so happy to see autumn prims popping up in your blogs even months ago, haha.

Enjoy these summer days. We'll be missing them when we're shoveling snow.

"What's that going to be?"

I've been inspired lately by all the cute Valentine's Day goodies I've seen you ladies making lately and decided that I wanted to make some hearts, myself. They're not really Valentine's Day related, but I'm quite happy with the way they turned out.

I miss her, but time is mending what it can. I just moved back into the house with my grandmother again on January 31st, and I actually live in Ma's old room now (Ma was my great-grandmother). I've made it my own, so I don't feel as weird about it as I thought I would. I have some flowers on my desk next to a picture and a birthday card she gave me a few years back, and try to take care of the flowers the way she'd want me to. I've never had any, so I usually tell her that I have no idea what I'm doing. "Am I giving it too much water? I don't know why the petals are drying out - what am I doing wrong, Ma?"

I told her that I was going to create something today, because I knew that would make me actually do it. As soon as I started, I swear I could feel her eagerly watching me like she used to in her old chair, asking me what I was doing now. How about now? "What's that going to be?" I feel so silly for typing this. I knew she'd be so happy to see me sewing again that I almost felt it like I was watching myself through her eyes and feeling her happiness. I'm not gonna lie, it made me cry.

Anyways, I live in the middle of the woods now down a half mile dirt road. It's beautiful and all, but as soon as it snows... I'm stuck here. My Corolla doesn't stand a chance on this road if there's any snow or ice, and we don't get plowed often. We've got a bazillion feet of snow here in CT and apparently we're expecting more over the next week. Yaaaaaaaaaaay. -_-

Here's some pictures of my beautiful yard, though. I take the good with the bad, and god is the good breath-taking.

It sounded like the trees were about to shatter when the wind blew...

No camera could have possible done this justice.

It was like a crystal fantasy world.

Happy birds.

Sooooooooo adorable! *squeee!*

I hope you're all staying warm and safe. I know at least in CT, the snow is so high that it's impossible to see where traffic is coming from at many corners. I cannot wait until the day I see greenery again... It feels like it'll never come. Maybe I should get more flowers for my room, haha. "Maaaaaa...!"

You Never Know. (RIP Ma)

Ma, my great-grandmother, had a massive stroke on December 17. After a long week of sleep and morphine, she passed away on Christmas Eve, 2010. She was an amazing woman - the most soft-spoken and generous human being I have ever had the privilage of knowing. She was one of the only family members I had been close to all throughout my life, and I will miss her very much. I've told her everything I wanted to say both while she was well and while I held her hand in the hospital. When she was "unconscious", she stroked my hand with her thumb for several minutes as if to comfort me and tell me she knew I was there, and that I would be okay. I still can't believe she will never be in that chair again, but such is life, and I need to be strong and move forward. I love you always, Ma.

The main reason I'm posting about this in my Blogger after disappearing for so long is because Pooh, the kitty I made for Ma in September, was buried with her yesterday. I wasn't sure how she felt about it when I first gave it to her, but over time, she often told me she said good morning to it every day, and loved that I made it for her. The second day she was in the hospital, I brought Pooh to her room and told her while she was sleeping, "I brought your Pooh kitty, Ma. He's sitting on the window sill watching over you." Out of a deep sleep, she actually opened her eyes and tried to turn her head to see him. My point is, you never know how much your creativity can touch someone, or how it will impact lives. You also never know when you will lose someone you love. I've found that it's important to love deeply, live fully, be creative, and share generously.

RIP Ma

February 7, 1917 - December 24, 2010

Take care of her, Pooh kitty.